How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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