Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
