I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
