Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
