Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
