I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
