We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
