Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Found your dick twin last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
