The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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