you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
