We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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