jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
When are your genitals available?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
