just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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