doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Fuck appropriateness.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
