Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize