you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize