Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
