Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
