I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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