Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I AM VODKA MAN
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
