Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If that was your dad, he is hot
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
