Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
