all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
