And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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