my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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