OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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