She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
