Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
