My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
