Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize