Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could fuck to npr.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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