idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
