You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
