I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
