I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
