Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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