he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
