As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
