you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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