yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you win again, gameday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
soo... how was my night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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