What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
