So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
