Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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