you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
