There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
