i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
