I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just blew my weed a kiss
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
