I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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