How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
