Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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