This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
