just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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